I saw an article in the paper the other day that caught my eye (and you know how painful that can be).  LaToya Jackson is saying she believes that her brother was murdered by a group of conspirators who are trying to get hold of his fortune.  She went on to say that she knows who is responsible and is determined to bring them to justice.

I guess now that Michael is gone, LaToya wants to be the wacko one in the family.  I’ve heard reports that Michael didn’t have any money due to the various lawsuits against him.  Supposedly, that was the reason behind his fifty concert dates in London.  He was attempting to earn enough money to pay off all his debts.

As long as we’re making up crazy theories; allow me to present a more plausible one.  If any celebrity was murdered by a group of conspirators for his money; I would think it would be Ed McMahon.  Some people wanted to get their hands on his Publishers Clearing House millions.  They whacked him, made it look like natural causes and then they must have worked out some way to get the money.  I don’t really know all the details, I am hesitant to name anyone who is involved and I certainly don’t have any proof; but that’s the great thing about conspiracy theories.  A person just has to say that they believe that there was a conspiracy and then challenge everyone else to disprove it.  If someone says, “An autopsy confirmed that it was natural causes.”, you can just respond by saying, “That’s what they want you to think.”  Who can possibly argue with that rock-solid logic.
But then again, maybe it wasn’t a group of people.  Maybe it was a lone gunman.  One person who finally grew tired of hearing about how he “might already be a winner” but never actually won anything.  He just snapped and went after McMahon, causing a series of injuries over a number of years; the cumulative effect of which eventually resulted in his death.

So, I guess by now the recent deaths of various celebrities is old news.  But, I’ve been lazy afflicted with the weasel flu so I haven’t had a chance to comment on them until now.

The one that everybody is talking about is, of course, the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson.  His demise has completely overshadowed the departures of Farrah Fawcett and Ed (You May Already Be A Winner) McMahon.  Also, no one is talking about David Carradine anymore.  I suppose he’s last weeks news (literally).

Although the causes of deaths of Ed and Farrah are fully known (and therefore not at all interesting) MJ’s death is shrouded in mystery and thus is a huge source of “news”.  I do not care to speculate on the cause of him ceasing to be, however I would like to present a controversial theory as to the real reason behind all of the celebrities shuffling off this mortal coil at the same time.

As we all know,  Hollywood celebrities are completely bereft of actual personalities.  They only say and do what their agents tell them will get the common people talking.  They are also very fond of copying one another.  If Madonna buys adopts a child, Brangelina have to buy adopt one.  If Mel Gibson gets a D.U.I., Keifer Sutherland and Lindsay Lohan have to get one too.  If Brad Pitt sleeps with the nanny Jon Gosselin has to as well (Jon and Kate were barely even celebrities until they started having “marital troubles”).  Therefore, following this “logic” David Carradine died and it got everyone talking so a few more celebrities decided they should expire and go to meet their maker.  Unfortunately for McMahon and Fawcett Wacko-Jacko is stealing all of the thunder.

Now, I’ve already heard some speculation that perhaps Mikey faked his death; either to get out of some lawsuits pending against him or as some sort of over-the-top publicity stunt to promote an upcoming world tour.  Either way, if he’s wants to re-invent himself all he has to do is dye himself black and no one will ever recognize him.