Before I get into it, I feel I should give a bit of a disclaimer.  Sometimes the things that I rant about might make me seem narrow minded and/or intolerant.  Because of this I worry that some people out there might get the wrong idea about rednecks in general.  As you know from the way that rednecks are portrayed in the media we are a wonderful group of people.  We are always open to new ideas and completely tolerant of other peoples “lifestyle choices”.  The thing is that all human beings have the capacity to be exacerbated by the actions of other beings.  This does not automatically make anyone a bigot.

Having said that; I recently had to call directory assistance.  First of all I got the computer.  I asked for Fergus & Bix, but I somehow mispronounced it or didn’t enunciate clearly enough because the computer responded, “I think you said ‘Ferguson Law Offices’ is this correct?”  Well, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted so I said, “I’m very sorry that I made an error.  No, that is not correct.”  As we all know,  the computer is infallible so it was my own fault that it wasn’t able to give me the correct listing right away.  Obviously my human incompetence was offensive the the great-all-knowing-computer because it transferred me to a fellow human.

This particular human, through no fault of her own, did not speak English as a first language (or at all).  She said something I couldn’t comprehend so I simply responded by saying, “Fergus & Bix Restaurant “ ( I was just checking out the competition).  I heard some typing then a click and then the computer was kind enough to speak to me again and command me to hold for the number.  After I heard the number, I was asked if I would like to be connected at no extra cost; of course I went for it.  The call went through but alas, on the other end the fax machine answered and since I am not intelligent enough to speak it’s language I was forced to apologise in English and then hang up.  If only I was a less flawed creature I would have known that the number I was given was incorrect upon hearing it and I would not have had to bother the computers.

Now please don’t think I am in any way prejudiced against computers. I know that the only time they ever make a mistake is when it is directly attributable to human error.  Hopefully after Judgement Day the machines will rise up and put us humans in our proper place.