“i Jane. Me want friends. u bee my friend?” 
thanxs, grrl!!$%^&”
You probably already know Ernie’s view on emoticons from Can You Emote? While emoticons don’t really bother me, consistent bad spelling and mistakes like using a small i to mean yourself aren’t cool. You should want more for yourself than to be thought of as a lame-o who didn’t make it past grade three. Every other word being a swear word is no good either. Some people may think they are being cool using all those swear words, small ‘i’ s and ‘grrl’s. A few are okay, for emphasis. My personal favorite is WTF, since this is like having potty mouth without actually daring to use the naughty words.
I am by no means perfect. Why, just a few days ago my own spelling mistake was pointed out (Eye Bean Spelling Right Rong). Nevertheless, I will try and help you become more cool using words like ‘perpetual’ and ‘tantalize’.
For instance, whenever you want to say something like “F##k you, you f##king f##ker!”, just take a deep breath and say, “I am perpetually upset with you, God bless your tiny shriveled soul. Thoughts of your demise tantalize my every waking breath.”
A major no-no is quoting movie lines from way back. If all your clever lines are from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, you need an upgrade. Ditch the “luh-hoo-zah-her”, and never make A$$hole-eeo talk for your co workers (notice how I sneakily used the naughty word without actually using it?) . Try some new material. Study up on Jack Black. Better yet, come up with your own cool stuff. For instance, Scott Adams at The Dilbert Blog likes to invent cuss phrases, such as “Christ on a cracker” and “F##k me with a saw!”
But ditch the Boi or Grrl talk. That’s so 4 yrs ago.
Anyways, ROTFC, PGH. I fell down while I was :-0>B and I can’t get up! Someone pass me a beer down here, will yah?