I was watching t.v. the other day (as I so often do when I’m trying to steal new ideas for posts) and I saw a really interesting documentary. It was all about how to warp time and space. It was pretty technical information but I made sure to write down some notes record the show for later replay. The best part was this guy who claimed that warping the space/time continuum could be done using common household items. A blender, the heating element of a toaster oven, beer, and plutonium 244. Unfortunately I was fresh out of plutonium 244 and only had 239 on hand; but I figured what difference could a few grams of atomic mass possibly make.
After following the experiment precisely, the result should have been a stable wormhole that would allow me to travel back in time to visit myself in the past. I was going to go back to last Friday and remind myself to return my movies to the video store on time. Alas, something went horribly, horribly wrong. No wormhole was created. Instead it just blew up in my face; the result of which was soot all over my face and my hair sticking up in a crazy looking way. Also, this happened to my clock:
