Have you ever noticed in action movies/t.v. shows; the hero will confront the villain and get shot: three or four slugs right in the chest. Then, after the villain runs off the hero will get up (much to the surprise of the damsel in distress/informant that he is protecting). He’ll open up his shirt and explain, “I’m wearing a vest.” Then he will immediately remove said vest.
Apparently the hero figures, “Hey, I’ve already been shot there’s no way I’ll need this vest any longer; even though my nemesis is still on the loose.”
The villain should just wait around the corner and then, after the hero arrogantly removes his protection, pop out and pump a few more rounds into him and say, “There, that’ll teach you, you big dum-dum.” Or alternately, the villain could just do a little more target practice before leaving his secret lair and learn how to do a head shot. Then he could say, “I guess you should’ve have worn that vest on your head. It would have saved your life and no one would have to look at your ugly face, you infidel pig-dog.” Or words to that effect. After all, why should the hero be the only one who gets to make a semi-clever smart ass comment after killing someone (i.e. “Where’s Buzz-saw?” “He had to split.” [Incidentally I'll e-mail a six-pack of Blue Beaver Beer to anyone who can identify that quote.])
It seems, these days, that almost every show you watch on t.v. (or the ones I watch at any rate) have a disclaimer at the beginning as well as after every commercial break. You know the one that I mean, “This program contains scenes of violence and/or coarse language that may be unsuitable to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.” Now, I won’t get into the violence part, that’s a whole different matter. What I would like to address is the “unsuitable language”.
One of my favourite shows is Hell’s Kitchen. If anyone else has seen this you know that Chef Gordon Ramsay is very fond of using the f-word. This also occurs on a lot of the other “Reality T.V.” out there. However, here’s the funny thing. It’s always bleeped out; the most you hear is “f” then “bleep“. Therefore if you are hearing any offensive language it is in your head.
I think it’s time for the government to step and and censor our brains. It worked on “South Park” when they put the V-chip in Cartman’s brain. Surely it’s not that far fetched. That way the government wouldn’t have to spend it time making up new legislation to “protect” us (i.e. Bill c-10). They could just program the chips to make us do what they want. They could use it for things other than censor-ship as well. They could program the chips to make everyone stop smoking as well. That would be pretty sweet.
Alright; so I had wanted to put both of these videos on one post, but apparently that is beyond my personal capability. Or more likely, through absolutely no fault of my own what-so-ever, the combination of the YouTube code and the blog template create some sort of a worm hole which messes up the site. Yeah that’s what it is. So the first video (which senselessly appears after this one, is about sext-messaging and this one is about someone who really likes their iPhone. Bon Appetit.
Well, I’m having some difficulty finding any topics to write about. Therefore, why don’t you watch a couple of videos of someone else being creative and funny. As for me I’m going to go watch some “real” t.v. I’m certain that if I channel surf long enough inspiration will hit me like a ton of bricks.