I realize that’s a pretty controversial thing to say, but if you bear with me I can prove it.

In the Bible it says that God created man in His own image and gave him dominion over all the beasts of the world (or words to that effect).  So Adam was just sitting around the Garden of Eden dominating the beasts.  Then God thought maybe Adam was lonely.  Now, He could have made another guy so that Adam would have someone to talk to about his hobbies and they could have watched the lower primates playing hockey (as they still do to this day) while sitting on the couch drinking beer and eating nachos in the Garden.  Everything would have been just hunky-dorry if it had been Adam and Steve.

Instead, God created woman.  I figure that even though Adam and Eve didn’t know how to have sex yet they still must have felt something that they couldn’t quite explain.  This would lead to complications.  As we all know it was Eve who was tempted by the serpent into eating from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Then she took the fruit to Adam and coerced him into eating it.  For the record; I personally have never had any respect for guys who allow their…hormones to do the thinking for them, however I have accepted the fact that it happens all the time.  So Adam didn’t think with his big head and he ate the fruit and then they were both screwed (although on the plus side they then learned how to screw).  But they got kicked out of the Garden and they had to go out into the real world where evil was everywhere.

So you see, it’s all right there in the Bible and we all know that the Bible is 100% fact.  You just have to know how to interpret the complex metaphors.  Of course some people out there might try and blame the whole thing on God.  They might say that He knew exactly what Adam and Eve would do as soon as He made them and He just let it happen.  Well, to these people I want to say; get thee behind me, I don’t want to get hurt when you’re struck by lightning.