Watch A Feature Movie In No Time At All

If you’re anything like me (and if you’re reading this then I assume that you are); you lead a very busy life.  Between drinking six to eight Blue Beaver Beers a night, working full time down at The Redneck Bar & Grill, watching a dozen different shows on t.v. per week, plus keeping up with all of my Facebook friends’ status updates; I barely have time to go to more than one movie a week.

Fortunately I have stumbled across a solution to that.  Over on YouTube there’s a guy called Will Tribble and he has re-imagined a few popular movies in such a way that they are much shorter.  Embedded here for your viewing pleasure is, “28 Days Later, In One Minute, In One Take”.  I like how he does away with unnecessary things like character development and lengthy dialogue.  He just leaves in the essential action and just a few spoken lines.  It really quite brilliant.  I also urge you to check out, “Forrest Gump”, “Kill Bill parts 1 & 2″ and “Star Wars” all “In One Minute, In One Take”.

October 5, 2009 | | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments »

Some Girls Do This In Their Spare Time

Recently, I had occasion to watch the movie S. Darko.  I thought it was not bad, though not particularly good.  Just kind of, meh.  However, that is beside the point that I wish to make.  There is one scene with a bunch of young people at a party and in the background there an unusual song playing.  I looked at the credits and found out that it’s called “Hobo Humpin’ Slobo Babe” by a group called Whale.  The song really caught my ear and I immeadiately had to try and find it.  Alas, it is not available on iTunes (though I’m sure I could illegally download it, but that would make me an “evil hard-bitten criminal scum”).

I looked up Whale on Wikipedia and learned a few things about them.  They are (or, I think, were) a Swedish band who wrote songs in English.  The band consisted of, Henrik Schyffert, Gordon Cyrus and Cia Berg.  Slobo Babe was their biggest success reaching the top ten in Denmark and Norway.

I’m not really sure what a “slobo babe” is.  The only results I could find with a search was an abbreviation for Slobodan Milosevic.  I assume that the “hobo humpin’” part means exactly what it seems to.  For some reason, even though I don’t know the true definition, when I think about the phrase “Hobo humpin’ slobo babe”, a picture of Britney Spears comes to mind.  Isn’t that weird?

Fortunately, I was able to find the video for the song on YouTube.  It is very odd and thus I like it very much.  After seeing Cia Berg in this, it makes me want to pretend to be a hobo for one night.  You may now watch it here.

August 29, 2009 | | Tags: , , , | 33 Comments »

Facebook “Feeding Frenzy” Leaves Lonely Losers In Drug Rehab

Now, I’m certain that if you just took a little time you would have no trouble at all finding a vast plethora of internet sites that will give you all sorts of (vaguely) useful advice on how to increase website traffic. As Tim pointed out recently while doing backflips for backlinks, you could always go on Facebook and join dozens of different “groups”. Then all you have to do is constantly leave witty comments on all of the pages and hope that some of the other members will go back to your page and from there go to your main web site where they will then do whatever they have to in order to for you to get paid and/or increase your traffic flow. It’s just as easy as that.

A lot of people out there are also using My Space as a place to promote what ever it is that they do that they wish they could get paid for; whether it be recording music, creative writing, live web cams, or proof-reading new dictionaries. Some people prefer this because anyone can access their information instead of just their 2563 close personal “friends”.

The only problem with these social networking sites is that they are highly addictive. You have to log on several times a day and change your status, check to see what your thousands of “friends” are doing right this minute, add the 12 newest applications, or attack a bunch of people with your zombie/werewolf/vampire/slayer/pirate/school girl. And you have to spend time visiting and leaving comments with all of the multitudes of groups that you have joined. If you’re really lucky you’ll still mange to get two hours of sleep every night.

One other solution is to make several videos that are somehow relevant to your web site and then post them on some of the 6052 YouTube-like sites on the internet. Again all you would have to do it wait for people to make their way back to your home page. I’m certain that within a few months your hits will increase by…eight or more and you’ll be laughing all the way to the virtual bank.

Pretty soon though, they’ll need to make some sort of a free drug rehab program just for Facebook addicts. It will most likely be a two-step program. Step 1: cancel your account and never go back there again. Step 2: leave the house and interact with real live people. (Just for the record that second step is not something that I would ever personally endorse.) Come to think of it there’s probably already a support group for Facebook addicts; you should be able to join it on Facebook.

March 9, 2009 | | Tags: , , , , , | 52 Comments »

I’ve Got Meme On My Face

Well, it’s taken me a while to get around to this (the post writers strike t.v. shows have been starting to show up), but our Beer Buddy Canucklehead “memed” us a little while back. Apparently I’m supposed to come up with 8 random facts/habits about myself. Now just a little while ago I made a video after getting “tagged” on YouTube. In said video I presented Five Little Known Facts about myself, and I am certain that every last one of you has already watched that. So now I have to try and come up with 8 more. Geez, I don’t know if I’m that complex, but I’ll give it a try.
The rules:

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.

3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.

4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to read your blog.

1) On the odd rare occasion when I’m not drinking Blue Beaver Beer, I enjoy various varieties of Big Rock Beer, Warthog is probably my favourite.

2) Whenever I’m at an ATM, I deliberately think about numbers that are not my real PIN, just in case any telepaths are scanning me.

3) A great number of people who have seen my videos on YouTube have been wondering about something; so now I will reveal the truth once and for all. I have never had implants, my breasts are real and they’re spectacular.

4) I kind of, sort of, almost, don’t really mind the song “Dirty” by Christina Aguilera. Now, some of you have probably lost all respect for me and will never read any of my posts again, but so what. I’m not scared to admit to this, it’s just one of those songs that gets into your head and won’t leave not matter how many brain cell you kill off with hard liquor. Plus, the video is awesome.

5) I don’t use the word “frak” nearly often enough.

6) I suffer from a mild case of online-xenophobia. On sites like Facebook, YouTube, Blogging Zoom, etc. I will almost never add someone as a friend unless they”introduce” themselves and add me first.

7) Ever since I was around 10 or so; whenever I eat an apple, I eat the entire thing (core and seeds) except for the stem. It’s good for you, try it sometime.

#8) I found this meme to be rather challenging. Not that there aren’t hundreds of things I could tell you about myself; but what can I reveal that won’t send you away screaming in terror and leave you haunted for the rest of your life. I just don’t feel that The Redneck is that sort of a blog bar.

There you have it. I feel so exposed now. So, whom shall I expose in turn? Well, definitely Gerri (Absolutely True), and Tammy (Mom Knows Everything), then Corrina (My Random Blog), Cindy (Beads and Beading), and I would be interested to know 8 facts about Hari (Hari’s Corner) and R.T. (Untwisted Vortex) and most certainly J.D. (I Do Things). And I’m short one, but it would probably necessitate me making a new friend in order to get an eighth.

April 20, 2008 | | Tags: , , , , | 9 Comments »